Posts tagged Chris Rock
If you look hip hop and all gangster, all eyes will be on you where ever you go.
If you are Asian, you are less suspect. Try to look like a nerd . If you are middle eastern try to look as American as you can. Many of you are rich, hang together, don’t drink and are fashionable. That goes a long way here. Goes without saying don’t wear hodgie clothes not matter if some white people do. They’re stupid and they don’t understand the implications… but the police do and Afgan and Iraqi war veterans who you will be going to school with don’t think hodgie clothes are cool. It makes them nervous and you suspect.
Most Strict sharia Muslims were thrown out of Boulder after 911. They FBI came to CU and revoked everyone’s passports. So don’t go grocery shopping at 1:00 am with your wife following behind you in a Birka. Dropped the Birka and any of that child or woman repressive civil rights stuff while you are in Boulder.
In all my years with my involvement with Police and law enforcement one thought comes to mind. They do have the power, training, wherewithal and the guns to kill you at the drop of a hat. Like an explosive offensive lineman in football cops are like wild beasts ready to strike without warning. So you have to be mindful of that. You are not dealing with an ordinary person. You are always dealing with someone who can knock you to the ground, handcuff you and take away your freedom or your life. They are a gang of trained killers who live in a closed society. They are the military except on American soil. Our Military only operates on foreign soil where the host country fears for their lives. Cops are color blind. They only see blue. They are a brotherhood of men and women who rule the streets. They have rules of engagement which are less strict than our US Marine Corps.
That means if you frighten them them they can and will shoot to kill you. They do not have much of an in between.
So I always approach cops with this in mind. I am not stupid. I don’t ever do things to antagonize them. I never fight with them or argue with then.
They have the gun on their holster. They have the badge of authority and the entire police department, district attorneys office and local government behind them.
Cops are the wrong people to fuck with always. Many of them are stressed and overworked. They spend much of the day dealing with scumbag wife beaters, child abusers, drug addicts and alcoholics, thieves etc.
So when they run up on you in a traffic stop just know you have a wilkd lion coming up to your car and you don’t want to piss him or her off.
What to do in a traffic stop.
1. Pull over to the right immediately and stop.
2. Don’t get out of the car.
3. Put your hands up on the steering wheel and keep them there.
4. If it is night , turn your overhead light on so the officer can see your hands.
5. Don’t go fishing around for your license or registration in the glove box.
6. Sit still and wait for the cop to come to your window and wait for instructions.
7. Cops get nervous when you go to the glove box or start fishing around. They worry that you might have a gun or someone in the car has a gun .
8. Be polite. Yes sir no sir goes a long way. Don’t argue with him.
9 I have found that being polite to a police officer always helps….. If I have done something wrong in the vehicle I just admit it or say i didn’t realize and apologize. That approach will get you less point on a ticket or a warning. I almost never get stopped and when I do it is usually with a warning.
10. I am serious. I could have driven over the guys mother and he’ll give me a warning. Why. because I pose no threat.
12. Now of course I am white, middle aged and look like Rush Limbaugh so that helps… a lot. I am usually well dressed and well spoken. I don’t give off attitude.
13 I have no idea what to say to those of you who are black, Latino, or wear gangster clothes. I would take my hat off and do your best Eddie Murphy impression.
14. when I was a long haired hippie and on drugs and wearing weird clothes… believe it or not I was the guy who was cool calm and collected around cops. I was often the spokesperson. ” Yes sir. No problem here sir. thank you sir . no sir yes sir. did you want to fuck one of the girls sir cause that one there thinks your cute.” I mean , I will do anything to keep the heat off and make sure the cops are feeling non threatened. I just try to be nice to them. Cause nobody else has been all day and they appreciate it.. And that means they will go find somebody else to eat.
15. If you have somebody with you who is being agro toward the cops, you tell that person to “shut the fuck up” in no uncertain terms. You tell the cop .. “You will have no problem with us sir, I am sorry for my disrespectful friend he was smoking crack before you so caringly stopped us ” and then you make sure a friend sits on that guy or girl.
16. Now you people of color, try to dress as white as you can. And talk as white as you can. Wear Kakis and a blue oxford shirt and a red and blue stripped tie. Talk about how you love the police and hope to be a police officer next year. Smile like Chris Rock and mention church.
sorry that is how it goes. This is a white mans world. White businessmen do rule…Next come our white women and our white children. If you are rich like me and live in a rich white city like Boulder you get treated like a Lord by the cops. Then again I don’t fuck up. I am not out dealing drugs, shooting people, robbing, stealing rapping or walking the streets. I am scared shitless. But I get more points than you.
If you are black, Latino or homeless you will always be stopped by the cops in rich white Boulder or any affluent white neighborhood in America.
So how you carry yourself, what you wear and how you speak in the presence of law enforcement officers will make the difference of whether you live or die tonight.
Jann Scott has covered the police for over 20 years
by Jann Scott
Jann Scott’s Journal
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