Posts tagged Hotshots
“Darling Companion” a Shaggy Dog Story
0June 16, 2012
“Shaggy Dog Story”
“Hotshots” looks at a movie!
Darling Companion is a pleasant little movie about a simple little subject from the beginning to the end.
Written and directed by Lawrence Kasdan, this movie can be added to his other movies, such as the 1981 Body Heat, the 1983 The Big Chill, and the 1991 Grand Canyon, among many others.
It stars Diane Keaton, Kevin Kline, Dianne Wiest, Richard Jenkins, and Sam Shephard, and it is about a lovable dog that goes missing and all the problems that causes.
When the movie opens, Beth and her daughter Grace are returning home from the airport when Beth orders Grace to stop the car on the freeway, because she saw something on the side of the road.
What Beth saw was a dog, and to make a long story short, after a veterinarian says there is nothing wrong with him that a few good meals and a bath won’t fix, Beth decides to keep the dog and names him Freeway.
Beth tells her reluctant husband, Joseph, “He’s not mine. I’m just going to find him a home.”
Well, you can guess how that works out, can’t you?
Sure enough, a year later, everybody is at the vacation home in the mountains of Beth and Joseph, where Grace is getting married, and Freeway is still a part of the family.
So, Joseph is out in the woods taking Freeway for a walk when Freeway spots a deer and runs off after it.
Freeway doesn’t come back, Beth blames Joseph for losing the dog while Joseph was talking on his phone, and this disrupts everybody’s plans for going back to their homes after the wedding, because now they all decide to stay until Freeway can be found.
Everybody includes Beth and Joseph, Joseph’s sister Penny, Penny’s grown son Bryan and her new boyfriend Russell, a young woman who “sees things,” because her mother was a gypsy and her father was a yogi, and even the local sheriff.
Well, now the story isn’t so much a story about a missing dog, but a story about the relationships of three sets of couples, some good and some not so good.
Darling Companion is like a shaggy dog story, which means that you either enjoyed all the details as it gets to the end or else the end itself was just as enjoyable.
I’m Dan Culberson and this is “Hotshots.”
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“Snow White and the Huntsman” an Expensive Piece of Nothing
0June 9, 2012
“Expensive Piece of Nothing”
“Hotshots” looks at a movie!
Snow White and the Huntsman is the second movie about Snow White to come out in two months, and the title indicates that Hollywood is running out of variations on how to make each one different.
Instead, the filmmakers should be concerned about how to make each one better, because this one isn’t.
This time, the evil Queen is played by Charlize Theron, and she even gets a name, Ravenna.
The Huntsman is played by Chris Hemsworth, whom you will recognize as the actor playing Thor in some other action movies, but he doesn’t get a name, just a back story.
And the grownup Snow White is played by Kristen Stewart, whom you will recognize from a lot of other movies.
Once again, we see how it all began, and after Ravenna becomes the stepmother of young Snow White, Ravenna tells her, “I could never take your mother’s place.”
And once again, Snow White is placed in prison by the Queen, high up in the north tower of the castle.
My comment was “Boring!” even before the movie got one-third of the way through.
So, the variation this time is not that the Queen has the Huntsman take Snow White out into the woods to kill her, but Snow White escapes from the castle and the Queen has the Huntsman go into the woods to find Snow White and bring her back.
Now, Charlize Theron chews the scenery as Ravenna, the evil Queen, and that is not easy to do when the scenery is made out of stone walls.
By this time the movie has become a swords and sorcery story, and the woods contain all sorts of menacing things and even a monster.
Finally! About two-thirds of the way through, the dwarfs show up, but right away you notice that there is something strange about them, and the camera doesn’t stay on all of them long enough for you to count them.
Sure enough, you were right, and later in the story an explanation solves the mystery.
Another weird thing about the dwarfs, however, is that you get the nagging feeling that when they are shown in closeup, you think that you recognize the actors playing them, but those actors aren’t actual little people.
Snow White and the Huntsman is an expensive piece of a nothing movie.
I’m Dan Culberson and this is “Hotshots.”
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“Chernobyl Diaries” or, Attack of the Chernobyl Zombies
0June 2, 2012
“Attack of the Chernobyl Zombies”
“Hotshots” looks at a movie!
Chernobyl Diaries is a horror movie that takes place at the site of the 1985 Chernobyl disaster of the meltdown of the nuclear reactor.
And of all the horror movies that take place at the site of a nuclear meltdown, this is one of them.
Would you be surprised if I told you that there were six young people involved in the story?
Paul is an American living in Russia after having had some sort of falling out with his family.
Chris is Paul’s brother, who is traveling in Russia to visit Paul, and with him are Chris’s girlfriend Natalie and Natalie’s best friend, Amanda.
And then there are Michael and Zoe, who are tourists from Australia, and who join the group when Paul arranges an “extreme tour” for him and the others to take.
Paul knows a former Russian soldier named Uri, who is now an extreme tour guide, and Uri is going to take the six young people to visit the abandoned city of Pripyat, which used to be the home of the workers at Chernobyl and their families before the nuclear disaster.
Regarding the abandoned city, Uri tells his clients, “Nature has reclaimed its rightful home.”
Would you be surprised if I told you that the abandoned city is not totally abandoned?
After being turned back at the official checkpoint entrance to the city, Uri drives his van and its passengers around the back to his special entrance.
Uri says that the radiation levels are low enough to be safe now, and besides, they are going to spend only one day inside the city.
Would you be surprised if I told you that they end up spending more than one day there?
Okay, they hear a scary noise inside one of the abandoned buildings, and they see something that Uri says he has never seen before on his previous trips to Pripyat.
Now, would you be surprised if I told you that when they get back to Uri’s van to leave that it won’t start?
Would you be surprised if I told you that when darkness falls, bad things start to happen to seven people one by one?
Chernobyl Diaries could have been called “Attack of the Chernobyl Zombies,” and I’m not surprised that I didn’t find it scary and I didn’t like it, either.
I’m Dan Culberson and this is “Hotshots.”
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“The Dictator” a One-Joke Movie
0May 26, 2012
“One-Joke Movie”
“Hotshots” looks at a movie!
The Dictator is Sacha Baron Cohen’s latest film and is not to be confused with the 1940 Charles Chaplin film, The Great Dictator, nor any of the many other films based on Mark Twain’s 1881 story, “The Prince and the Pauper.”
Yes, the story is about a leader of a country who tries to pass himself off as a commoner, either by choice or force, and in this case, force.
Admiral General Aladeen is the dictator of the North African nation of Wadiya, and he has the extravagantly long beard to prove it. He is also so egotistical that he changes the names of many words to “Aladeen” to honor his glory.
He is also so stupid that he doesn’t see the problem in changing the Wadiyan words of both “positive” and “negative” to “Aladeen,” especially when a doctor asks his patient, “Do you want the Aladeen news or the Aladeen news?”
Ben Kingsley plays Tamir, Admiral General Aladeen’s second in command, and your first question should be “What is Academy Award winner Ben Kingsley doing in this piece of crap movie?
Apparently, just as there are no small parts, only small actors, there are no big actors who aren’t willing to prostitute themselves for a small paycheck.
Tamir finds a double for Admiral General Aladeen whose only real job is to be shot in the head, because the people of Wadiya want to live in a democracy, not a dictatorship.
The job requirement for being the double of Admiral General Aladeen is to be stupid, and because Cohen also plays the role of the double, he can act even more stupid than he usually does.
Of course, the story moves to New York City, where Admiral General Aladeen is to give a speech at the United Nations, of course there is a kidnaping plot, of course the admiral general’s beard is cut off while he is being tortured, of course he escapes the kidnaper, and of course the rest of the movie is about the beardless Aladeen trying to exist on his own in New York City.
However, not of course, the movie takes a turn of events when Aladeen meets Zoe, a radical socialist played by Anna Faris, and he takes a job working for her.
The Dictator is a one-joke movie worth two chuckles, tops.
I’m Dan Culberson and this is “Hotshots.”
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“Damsels in Distress” Causes the Audience to Be in Pain
0May 12, 2012
“Audience in Pain”
“Hotshots” looks at a movie!
Damsels in Distress is the fourth movie written and directed by Whit Stillman, all of them have received favorable reviews, but I thought this was the worst movie I have seen in a very long time.
The story takes place at a school called Seven Oaks University, and it begins during new-student orientation at the start of the school year when three girls approach a new girl attending the school and one of them says to her, “We’d like to help you.”
The three girls are Violet, Heather, and Rose, and the new girl is Lily, who is a sophomore and is transferring into the university.
The leader of the group is Violet, and she does most of the talking, which takes place when they are walking, which takes place when they are dancing, and which even takes place when the girls get into bed at night, where they all sleep in the same room.
Violet, Heather, and Rose volunteer at the Suicide Prevention Center, where they help some students to get over their depression with tap dancing.
Incidentally, when Violet herself gets depressed later in the story over a boy she thinks she is in love with, she doesn’t like to use the word “depressed.” She prefers to say that she “is in a tailspin.”
The university has social fraternities on campus, but they make a point of saying that they aren’t Greek fraternities, as there are on most college campuses. These are Roman-letter fraternities like DU, where the girls all go to a party and make fun of the members of the fraternity, whom they call morons and think of their attending as “youth outreach.”
There is no dramatic arc in this movie, just a dramatic plateau. No, make that a valley with no drama at all, because it never reaches the level of a plateau.
I wondered if all the people making this movie were as bored making it as I was watching it. I kept thinking, “Why don’t they just stop talking and do something?”
Violet’s ambition is to start a new dance craze, and the movie ends with a big musical dance number. No, two of them, but by then it is still too late.
Damsels in Distress is so bad that if I never see it again, it will be too soon.
I’m Dan Culberson and this is “Hotshots.”
