Posts tagged train to Venice

“Very Disappointing Movie”

THE TOURIST stars Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie, and so what more do you need to know in order to see this movie?

Well, whether or not it is any good would be nice, and in this case, it is not.

Oh, it looks well enough, that is for sure, taking place in Venice, Italy, and once the two stars check into a fabulous hotel, every scene in the movie looks like a picture postcard.

And, then, of course, it stars Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie.

The movie even starts in Paris, where Angelina is a target and being followed by who we eventually learn is Scotland Yard.

She receives a note by courier, telling her to take a train to Venice, and in addition the note says, “Pick someone my height and build, and make them believe it is me.”

So, Angelina, knowing she is being followed, heads for the subway and loses her followers by the old subway trick.

We then learn that the note was from a man named Alexander Pearce, who stole an enormous amount of money from an international mobster and is wanted in 14 countries, so Angelina is also being followed by Interpol and the mobster’s men.

When she gets on the train, Angelina sees Johnny sitting alone, picks him, and sits down across from him, engaging him in conversation.

He tells her that he is a math teacher from Madison, Wisconsin, and once the surveillance team identifies him, we learn even more about him.

Unfortunately, the mobster and his men believe Johnny is Pearce, and after Angelina entices him to check into the hotel with her, it is picture postcard time–except for the mobster and his men, of course.

So, now there are going to be chases throughout Venice, and it almost becomes a comedy when Johnny is chased across rooftops in his pajamas.

However, once the story shifts to a fancy dress ball, the movie begins to go downhill fast.

The premise makes no sense if we are to believe all the so-called “facts” we are given, and the audience is played for suckers.

The movie is better as the film it pretends to be instead of the one it turns out to be.

THE TOURIST has a good premise, excellent previews, preposterous execution, and, finally, is very disappointing.

I’m Dan Culberson and this is “Hotshots.”