Posts tagged Naked Curmudgeon
Fear of Dying: Naked Curmudgeon by Dan culberson
Oct 31st
The Naked Curmudgeon curmudgeon n [origin unknown] (1577) a crusty, ill-tempered, and usu. old man. naked adj 6: devoid of concealment or disguise. Attempting to cover everything that annoys me, Dan Culberson.
Here’s what gets me.
People who try to convert others to their religion are like those who recommend their dentist or eye doctor to people.
They have had satisfactory experiences with their dentist or eye doctor, and the more people who do likewise supports and legitimizes their own choices and beliefs. And as everyone knows who has ever attempted to persuade someone to believe what you believe, if you can demonstrate that your belief is supported in print, your position has more substantiation and more weight. In addition, if your medical recommendations have been in print for 2,000 years, then you have a lot of weight and persuasion on your side.
However, suppose that the dentist and the eye doctor receiving these recommendations are quacks. Suppose the dentist claims he has a better method of filling cavities and better suggestions for good dental hygiene than other dentists, but in fact he removes all his patients’ gold fillings for his own profit and replaces them with a cheaper filling, one designed to wear out and ensure that his patients return for more dental work. And suppose that the dentist’s “Ten Commandments of Doctor Gold’s Good Dental Hygiene” begin with “Thou shalt go to no other dentist than Doctor Gold.”
Now suppose that the eye doctor, who might even claim to be the son of Doctor Gold in order to acquire added prestige and pick up some easy patients, suppose that he, Doctor Christman, claims that all of his patients have special abilities as the result of his practice which enables them to have perfect vision without the need for eyeglasses or corrective lenses of any kind after they are dead.
That is correct. Ridiculous as it might seem, Doctor Christman, without any proof whatsoever, claims that if you patronize his practice, you will be given special powers that will enable you to continue living after you die, and you will be whisked away to some special, spiritual Haven for Doctor Christman’s former patients, where everybody spends eternity with perfect eyesight and presumably continues extolling the wonders of Doctor Christman’s special powers.
Now, remember those people who recommend the practices of Doctor Gold and Doctor Christman? Suppose they get a percentage, a finder’s fee, a kickback for every patient who actually does go to those doctors. That would make their recommendations suspect, wouldn’t it? Especially the ones who recommend that kook, Doctor Christman, who boldly claims with a straight face that if only you go to him for your eyesight needs, he will additionally reward you with life after death?
Why would any sane, intelligent person believe such nonsense?
Well, those few people who are blessed with perfect eyesight who can see clearly in all situations that require clear far vision and closeup vision don’t, because they have no need to correct their eyesight and don’t need an eye doctor in the first place. Nor do they need to follow the “Ten Commandments of Doctor Christman’s Perfect Vision,” which are suspiciously similar to Doctor Gold’s Ten Commandments. They are mostly common sense and obvious suggestions, anyway.
However, there are some people, perhaps even a majority, who are afraid of dying. And if they persuade themselves, either on their own or because of the persuasive powers of those paid shills for Doctor Christman, that simply by patronizing Doctor Christman they will be given the additional magical blessing of life after death, they consider that they would be fools not to patronize Doctor Christman and anyone who knows about Doctor Christman and doesn’t patronize him is just a fool.
In other words, their fear of dying has got the better of them and clouded their vision even more than their correctable myopia.
That is just plain silly. Those people are even bigger fools than the ones Doctor Christman’s patients claim to be who aren’t Doctor Christman’s patients, because there is no evidence that life after death is even possible, much less with perfect eyesight.
What are Doctor Christman’s patients afraid of? Why are they so egotistical as to believe that they are so special that they even need to have a life after death?
Where were they before they were born? Nowhere. What have they felt every night of their lives after they have been born? Nothing. They have been in a state of unconsciousness that people with perfect eyesight and those with corrected vision accept without fear of going to sleep.
Doctor Gold and Doctor Christman are quacks.
I rest my case.
Go, Turkeys! Ex-Senator Ben “Nighthorse” Campbell was a dope.
Jul 16th
Naked Curmudgeon by Dan Culberson
Here’s what gets me.
Ex-Senator Ben “Nighthorse” Campbell was a dope.
For those of you unfamiliar with Colorado politics or the Washington Redskins controversy over trying to build a new football stadium, Campbell was the Colorado junior senator whose former claim to notoriety was that he is 1/8-1/2 Native American/North American Indian, he flaunted riding his motorcycle without a helmet and he was trying to force the Washington Redskins to change their team name.
He also claimed to be the only Native American/North American Indian then sitting in the U.S. Senate.
Remember when you could be classified a non-Native American Black/North American Negro if you had only 1/16 nNAB/NAN blood in you? It is time to get rid of, or at least ignore, race classifications. They serve no purpose other than to perpetuate prejudice.
I’ll bet you beads to wampum that based on such a strict classification, Senator “Nighthorse” was not the only NA/NAI in the Senate. Do you know anything at all about your eight great-great grandfathers and grandmothers?
However, he was the first senator to make a national fool of himself over such a silly, misguided issue as sporting-team nicknames.
Consider the facts: Senator Ben said the word “redskin” is a racial slur and introduced a bill prohibiting a new stadium on land used by “any person or organization … using nomenclature that includes a reference to real or alleged physical characteristics of Native American or other groups of human beings.”
He also said, “Simply put, the name ‘Redskin’ is offensive to Indian people. Whether it is considered offensive by non-Indians is not the issue.”
Well, if it is so “offensive to Indian people,” why did an Indian high school on a reservation in Red Lake, Ariz., use “Redskins” for its team name?
People forget that mascot names are chosen for their anthropological totemism, not their condescending tokenism. The names are chosen with pride to strike fear in their opponents’ hearts, not laughter and chuckles in their throats. No team is called the New York Ninnies, Dallas Dumbbells or San Francisco Sissies. Names of pride are chosen like Giants, Cowboys and 49ers.
As for a term being offensive, the offense comes from context, not from the term itself. No one should be able to take offense at “mother,” right? Well, how about “That no-good mother went crazy and he shot 14 people”?
A word is only a symbol for something so that communication and understanding can occur. Otherwise, why would Senator Campbell take pride in calling himself a word also used to mean “beast,” “gelding,” “heroin,” “large or coarse,” “old-fashioned” and “nonsense” when used alone or with other words?
Would the senator have been offended if the Washington Redskins chose to call themselves the Washington Nighthorses? I think not. So, was he being selective in choosing what to take offense at? I think so.
Calling attention to a perceived racial slur only perpetuates racism, and the only race we should be concerned about is the human race–especially the finish of it. Back in the Embarrassing Sixties, we thought we could solve problems by drawing attention to them, bringing them out into the open and rubbing everybody’s noses in them.
Maybe we were wrong. Maybe drawing attention to problems only perpetuates the problems, because people will be offended at anything if it suits them, whether the problem is solved or not.
Perhaps problems can best solve themselves. When humans try to solve problems, they create new problems, and I hate to think that the purpose of humanity is to solve problems. I choose to believe that the purpose of humanity–if we have a purpose–is to live and be happy. If we can help others be happy, too, then all the better.
So, why don’t we all try to live with a philosophy of trying not to create any problems? If we don’t have any problems, then we don’t have to solve any problems.
If you are offended by a silly mascot name, then take pride in being unique. Ask yourself how many additional problems you would cause by broadcasting the fact you are offended. Ask yourself how many people are not offended. Forget the silly slogan of “If one person has a problem, then we all have a problem.”
Remember that Ben “Founding Father” Franklin wanted the turkey to be the national bird instead of the eagle.
How would you feel today if your favorite team was the Philadelphia Turkeys?
I rest my case.
