Hotshots Movie Reviews
Hotshots Movie Reviews by Dan Culberson
“Zack and Miri Make a Porno” Erotic Reimagining
Nov 13th
Erotic Reimagining
“Hotshots” looks at a movie!
ZACK AND MIRI MAKE A PORNO is not the worst film of the year, although it is probably down there with the worst, and yet it probably also has the worst title, which gives away half the plot right off the bat.
Written and directed by Kevin Smith and starring Seth Rogen and Elizabeth Banks, if it had just added “and Lived Happily Ever After” to the title, the whole plot would have been given away right there.
Yes, this is a typical “Boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy gets girl back again” story, although they met 20 years ago in first grade and have been friends ever since, they have been living together platonically since high school for the past 10 years, and they decide to make a porno film together in order to pay their bills.
What could go wrong, right? Or, to put it a better way, what could go right?
Well, everything, actually, on both counts.
You see, it is just before Thanksgiving, the utilities in their apartment have been turned off for nonpayment, Zack meets someone at their 10th-year high-school reunion who says he is earning $100,000 a year making and distributing his own porno movies, and so Zack decides they can succeed by making their own porno movie and selling it just to their 800 classmates alone.
When Miri asks why they can’t find a different way to make money like other people do, Zack says, “Because other people have options. And dignity.”
Zack calls on some friends for help and investment, they decide to do an “erotic reimagining” of a STAR WARS movie, and we get the standard movie montage of auditions for roles and wardrobe tests. Ho hum.
Then a major setback causes them to reimagine their reimagining, which is right out of Stale Screenwriting 101.
Everything that happens is telegraphed to the audience and then prolonged for way too long, but don’t go see it expecting to see anything coming close to a real porno movie–assuming that you have ever seen one before, of course.
However, do expect to see some nudity, at least one really offensive sight gag, and lots and lots of profanity. And then some more profanity.
ZACK AND MIRI MAKE A PORNO is an erotic reimagining of a lame romantic comedy–and of a porno movie, too.
I’m Dan Culberson and this is “Hotshots.”
“Changling” Disturbing to Think About
Nov 6th
Disturbing to Think About
“Hotshots” looks at a movie!
CHANGELING is the latest film directed by Clint Eastwood, which stars Angtelina Jolie, and it should not be confused with the 1979 THE CHANGELING, which starred George C. Scott.
The earlier film was a ghost story, and this one is more of a horror story, but not in the way you might think. It is based on actual events.
The time is 1928, the place is Los Angeles, and Jolie plays Christine Collins, a single mother of a nine-year-old boy named Walter.
Christine is a supervisor of the massive switchboard operation at the local telephone company, which requires her to wear roller skates and glide back and forth behind the long line of operators.
One Saturday morning, Christine is called in to work, and she is forced to leave Walter alone in the house they live in.
Walter assures his mother that he will be all right by himself, saying, “I can take care of myself. I’m not afraid of the dark. I’m not afraid of anything.”
However, when Christine comes back home that evening, Walter is gone and she cannot find him anywhere. She calls the police and is told that they won’t even begin looking for him until he has been missing for 24 hours.
So, Christine keeps calling, the police keep investigating, and Walter remains missing.
Finally, five months later, the police inform Christine that Walter has been found in Illinois, and he is being brought home. However, after Christine, the police, and the local reporters all wait at the train station for Walter’s arrival, when he gets off the train, Christine says, “He’s not my son.”
The police find themselves in an awkward situation, they insist that he is, the boy agrees, and Christine is told to take him home on a “trial basis.”
She is told that she is the boy’s mother and therefore in no position to be objective.
Then John Malkovich shows up as the Reverend Gustav Briegleb, who has made it his mission in life to expose the Los Angeles Police Department and all its corruption. He tells Christine that the police don’t want public dissent, contradiction, or embarrassment.
Because Christine represents all three to them, Christine is forcibly admitted to the Psychopathic Ward of the General Hospital solely on the captain’s signature.
CHANGELING is gruesome to watch and disturbing to think about.
I’m Dan Culberson and this is “Hotshots.”
“Pride and Glory” Long and Complicated
Oct 30th
Long and Complicated
“Hotshots” looks at a movie!
PRIDE AND GLORY is a police drama with problems, and one of its biggest problems is that it looks like too many other police dramas that we have already seen.
This could be the reason why it was released more than two years after it finished shooting and its release date has been postponed more than once.
On the other hand, it has a strong cast and it looks authentic, probably because director Gavin O’Connor and his brother Gregory, who are sons of a New York City cop, wrote the story together.
Colin Farrell plays Sgt. Jimmy Egan, and he has married into a police family. His brother-in-law, Ray Tierney, is played by Edward Norton, and his father-in-law, Frank Tierney, Sr., who is the chief of detectives in Manhattan, is played by Jon Voight.
Frank has another son, Frank Jr., who is the precinct captain of the station house where Jimmy works.
The story begins with the killing of four police officers in an apartment building, and the severity of the situation is such that only trustworthy cops are wanted to investigate it. All four officers worked in the station house with Jimmy, and one was Ray’s friend and former partner.
So, Frank Sr. asks Ray to be on the task force, telling him, “Raymond, do me a favor. Forget the past.”
You see, Ray has been off the streets for the last two years working in Missing Persons, whereas the previous eight years he had worked on the Major Case Squad before something happened when Ray got shot in the face, and he has the ugly scar to prove it.
Early on, the audience learns that Jimmy was somehow involved in the death of the four policemen, and a lot of cash also figures in the situation.
The story takes place at Christmastime, and we see a lot of family get-togethers with wives and children, but gritty police work is the emphasis of the film. That and the rough language that apparently goes along with it.
Even though Frank Sr. tells Ray to check in with him if Ray gets anything, Ray ignores that directive when Ray is informed that a policeman was involved in both the original killings and in another shoot-out later on.
Then Ray finds trouble.
PRIDE AND GLORY is too long and complicated.
I’m Dan Culberson and this is “Hotshots.”
