Hotshots Movie Reviews
Hotshots Movie Reviews by Dan Culberson
“This Means War” Has Four Ridiculous Endings
Feb 27th
“Four Ridiculous Endings”
“Hotshots” looks at a movie!
This Means War starts off with an excessive beginning like a typical James Bond movie and then quickly turns into a romantic comedy with two men trying to woo the same woman, except that in this case the two men are agents for the CIA.
The woman is Lauren Scott, played by Reese Witherspoon, and when she meets her old boyfriend on the street with his fiancee, she lies to them about her own boyfriend, even though she doesn’t have one.
However, when she tells her friend Trish, played by Chelsea Handler, about her encounter, Lauren says, “I’m going out. I’m dating. I’m meeting friends.”
Meanwhile, the two agents have been grounded by their superior for botching the mission that we saw at the beginning of the movie, and out of boredom, they both sign up for an online dating service.
One is FDR Foster, played by Chris Pine, and the other is Tuck, played by Tom Hardy, and not only are they partners, but they are also best friends.
Well, you can guess it. Trish signs Lauren up for the same dating service without Lauren knowing it, and FDR and Tuck eventually discover that they have both picked Lauren as the woman they would like to get romantically involved with and start dating to see where it leads.
When they find out that they are both dating the same woman, even though they make a gentlemen’s agreement to let the better man win, with all the resources of the CIA at hand, what do you think they will do to interfere with the other one’s chances?
And so we see FDR and Tuck date Lauren and watch the shenanigans that they both pull with supposedly spy equipment and expertise, and we are supposed to believe that the events could actually happen and that they are supposed to be funny.
This is where the movie starts to get really ridiculous.
And, of course, there is still some unfinished business from the botched mission at the beginning of the movie that keeps interfering with the romantic-comedy half of the story.
In other words, there are no surprises in this movie.
There is, however, a ridiculous ending.
No, make that two ridiculous endings.
No, make that three ridiculous endings.
This Means War is a no-surprises movie with four ridiculous endings.
I’m Dan Culberson and this is “Hotshots.”
“Safe House” Is Next to Nothing
Feb 19th
“Next to Nothing”
“Hotshots” looks at a movie!
Safe House is a bang-bang, shoot-’em-up, run-run-run, bang-bang, shoot-’em-up-some-more action thriller that is the very epitome of a movie with more style than substance.
It stars Denzel Washington as a rogue CIA agent who has been on the run for nine years and Ryan Reynolds as an inexperienced CIA agent who is in charge of a safe house run by the CIA in Capetown, South Africa.
Matt Weston has been in charge of the safe house for only 12 months, but hasn’t seen any action or activity at all in that year.
In fact, at the beginning of the movie, when he checks in with his superior at CIA headquarters, Matt says, “I’m dying here. What happened to the post in Paris?”
And then everything changes drastically for Matt. A team of agents bring rogue agent Tobin Frost to the safe house for questioning.
Frost is so notorious that even inexperienced Matt recognizes him.
However, during the interrogation, a team of men break into the safe house and start killing everyone, and only Matt and Frost are able to escape, leading to an unbelievable car chase through the streets of Capetown.
Frost is in handcuffs, and he tells Matt that the men want Frost alive, but they will kill Matt if they can.
Back at CIA headquarters, they are aware of what is happening in South Africa, and they admit that Matt is all they have to keep Frost in custody, and so they relay directions to another safe house out in the country and tell Matt to take Frost there.
However, before Matt can get Frost there, they are still being chased by the men intent on killing Matt and capturing Frost, and Matt also has to worry that someone in the CIA set everything up and is directing the chase.
So, whenever Frost escapes from Matt, Matt has to track him down and capture him again, dodge the bullets from the men trying to kill him, and still get Frost to the new safe house.
Oh, and all the action takes place over only two days, there are surprises in store for the audience, but you might be able to guess the final surprise.
Safe House is full of sound and fury, signifying next to nothing.
I’m Dan Culberson and this is “Hotshots.”
“The Woman in Black” Is a Movie in Trouble
Feb 11th
A Movie in Trouble
“Hotshots” looks at a movie!
The Woman in Black is a traditional ghost story, and of all the movies about ghosts that have ever been made, this is one of them.
In fact, the only reason to see this yawner with all the tricks and twists and turns of a traditional ghost story is to see Daniel Radcliffe trying to act like an adult in his first starring film role after the “Harry Potter” movies ended in 2011.
Now, seeing as how this is a story about ghosts that wants the audience to take it seriously and realistically, you have to ask yourself one question: “Do you believe in ghosts?”
Well, do you? And then ask yourself more questions.
Radcliffe plays Arthur Kipps, who works for a law firm in London in either the late 1890s or the early 1900s, whose wife died four years earlier while giving birth to their son, Joseph.
Arthur is sent to a little village in northern England to go through the papers of an old woman who died and report if the law firm should take over the house that she left, which is known as the Eel Marsh House and sits on a piece of land whose only access by road is covered by water whenever the tide comes in.
Arthur is told that this assignment is to prove his worth to the head of the law firm and is his “final warning.”
When Arthur arrives at the village, he gets no cooperation at all from the villagers except for one man, Sam Daily, whose son died many years ago, and whose wife could only be called crazy.
In fact, many children in the village have died, and Arthur eventually learns that there is a connection between their so-called “accidental” deaths and the appearance of a mysterious “woman in black” who is seen occasionally and who has a connection with Eel Marsh House.
Well, naturally Arthur stays at the house to go through all the old woman’s papers, scary things naturally happen, and naturally Arthur sees the woman in black more than once, along with many more mysterious events.
Of course, there are many cheap audio and visual shocks designed to scare the audience, but it is possible not to be scared.
The Woman in Black is a movie in trouble with a really cheap ending.
I’m Dan Culberson and this is “Hotshots.”
