Movies

“The Watch” Don’t Bother

“Hotshots” looks at a movie!

The Watch is a comedy that combines the subjects of a neighborhood watch group; a compulsive, obsessive, paranoid leader; and an alien invasion in the suburbs, and if you believe that concept is potentially funny, then this movie is potentially for you.

Otherwise, don’t bother.

The story takes place in Glenview, Ohio, and Ben Stiller plays Evan Trautwig, the manager of the local Costco store who forms a neighborhood watch group when his night watchman is mysteriously murdered and his body is horribly disfigured.

Evan wants to solve the watchman’s murder and find who did it, but Evan also has a history of forming clubs just so he can be a member of them and make new friends.

This time, however, Evan tells his wife Abby, played by Rosemarie DeWitt, “It’s not a club. It’s a task force.”

Only three people show up for the organizational meeting: Bob, played by Vince Vaughn; Franklin, played by Jonah Hill; and Jamarcus, who is British and has a funny haircut to go along with his funny accent.

The organizational meeting that Evan planned is too boring and so against Evan’s wishes, the meeting moves to Bob’s house, where they can have fun and drink some beers.

Bob has a teenage daughter named Chelsea who is rebellious and who will play an important part later on in the story.

The watch group’s stakeout on the first night doesn’t go well, as you can imagine, and not only do they have a run-in with the local police, but they also have trouble with some teenage boys.

The group finds a strange and mysterious globe with unusual powers which seems to be out of this world, because it is.

Evan also has a creepy and mysterious new neighbor named Paul who keeps inviting Evan to come to a party, but that turns out not to be what you expect, to say the least.

Eventually, the group discovers that there are aliens among them and that the aliens are using Glenview and even Costco as the sources of their invasion of Earth.

Now, don’t even bother counting the number of bullets fired in the final shootout at the end, which may or may not be satisfying, depending on which side you are rooting for.

The Watch may not be satisfying, either, so don’t even bother.

I’m Dan Culberson and this is “Hotshots.”