Posts tagged scary
“What’s Your Number?” One-Sidetrack Movie
Oct 6th
Official Website
“One-Sidetrack Movie”
“Hotshots” looks at a movie!
What’s Your Number? follows the recent Hollywood trend of movies about women who are assertive, raunchy, bawdy, and, yes, even foul mouthed.
In other words, the target audience is young men, who Hollywood believes don’t want to see movies about women unless the women are assertive, raunchy, bawdy, and, yes, even foul mouthed.
Get the women to strip and show off their bodies, and, heck, Hollywood has expanded the audience to include teenage boys, too.
Anna Faris, she of the Scary Movie spoofs of the, well, scary movies and the surprisingly good 2008 The House Bunny, stars as Ally Darling, a young woman in Boston who creates a dilemma for herself.
Ally’s sister is getting married, and Ally starts feeling sorry for herself. Then she learns that the average number of lovers a woman has in her lifetime is 10.5.
Ally counts up all her past lovers and determines that she has had 19, but then when she also learns that if a woman hasn’t gotten married after having had 20 lovers, the odds are she will never get married, Ally decides that she will never sleep with a man again unless he is the one she is going to marry.
Well, when that plan doesn’t work, Ally decides to track down all her past lovers to make sure that she hadn’t overlooked one and that he just might have been the one for her.
Of course, that is going to be difficult, and so Ally enlists the help of Colin, the guy who lives across the hallway from her in her apartment building.
Colin is played by Chris Evans, and he agrees to help Ally in exchange for being allowed to hide out in Ally’s apartment every morning so that he can avoid the latest woman whom he brought home the night before.
So, you can see where this is going, can’t you, and if you have seen the trailer for the movie, you have already seen most of the movie.
Now, there is one sidetrack that you won’t anticipate, and for a while you might believe that you were fooled.
We also see Ally’s parents, played by Blythe Danner and Ed Begley Jr., who are divorced because they have two entirely different personalities.
What’s Your Number? is a one-sidetrack movie that you can surely avoid.
I’m Dan Culberson and this is “Hotshots.”
“Friday the 13th” Cheap Excuse
Mar 4th
Cheap Excuse
“Hotshots” looks at a movie!
FRIDAY THE 13TH (2009) is a movie so bad that only a few groups of people will want to see it: friends and family of the cast and crew, movie reviewers, and, oh yeah, TEENAGERS.
The original version came out in 1980, and so any teenagers who saw that movie when it was released would be in their forties now, and they might want to see just how it has been updated, but the only reason that I saw it was that the equipment broke down for the movie that I intended to see and review.
Another group of people who might want to see it are those voyeurs who enjoy lots of shots of bare boobies and gruesome murders, but most of them are probably teenagers anyway.
The story begins on June 13, 1980, at a place called Crystal Lake. and we see a woman crazed by grief confront some other people and shouting, “Jason was my son! You should have been watching him!”
Jason, of course, is Jason Voorhees, the mad slasher in this series of slice-and-dice teenage thrillers, the one who wears a hockey mask as if he is afraid that his victims might be able to identify him.
Then we jump forward to “Present Day” at Crystal Lake and watch the first group of victims, consisting of three guys and two girls, and then get way too much exposition about the first series of murders.
Well, guess what happens.
Then it is six weeks later and seven more campers show up, as well as Clay, the brother of one of the girls who is still missing from the first group six weeks earlier.
This group, however, isn’t camping out in the woods, but staying in the fancy cabin owned by the family of one of them, a real obnoxious jerk who you just can’t wait for him to get his.
As always, the only suspense is which one will be killed first and which one will be the survivor.
Now, however, we get some topless water-skiing along with the not-so-scary individual trips up into an attic or out to the toolshed in the dark.
FRIDAY THE 13TH (2009) will probably be loved by teenagers but hated by everybody else, because it is just a cheap excuse for profanity, nudity, and other teenage thrills, and I am not a teenager.
I’m Dan Culberson and this is “Hotshots.”