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“Moonrise Kingdom” a Weird Piece of Crap
Jun 30th
“Weird Piece of Crap”
“Hotshots” looks at a movie!
Moonrise Kingdom is the latest film from acclaimed writer and director Wes Anderson, and if you thought his previous films were weird and offbeat, get ready for this one.
To say that the films of Anderson are an acquired taste would be an overstatement. Each of his films is an acquired taste, and this latest one left a bad taste in my mouth.
The cast doesn’t lack for fame and talent, and it includes Bruce Willis, Edward Norton, Bill Murray, Frances McDormand, Tilda Swinton, Jason Schwartzman, and Harvey Keitel, but all of them play supporting roles in the story, which is about two 12-year-old misfits who fall in love and decide to run away together.
Now, if you think that is quirky, even the location of the story is quirky. It takes place in 1965 on an island off the coast of New England.
We learn that a year earlier Sam Shakusky and Suzy Bishop had met when she was appearing in a pageant and he went backstage where Suzy was in makeup and asked her, “What bird are you?”
They took a liking to each other, apparently because they were both troubled kids without any friends, and they became pen pals, writing to each other regularly for the past year and making plans to escape together.
Now, remember that they are both 12 years old and living on a small island, and so you can see some ready-made flaws in their plan, right?
Anyway, they meet on schedule and take off to a small cove where they plan to hide out. The adults discover that the kids are missing, and so they start searching for them.
There is also a storm coming that is going to turn into a hurricane.
We see many scenes of Sam and Suzy swimming and dancing around in their underwear that are uncomfortable to watch, especially when Sam paints a picture of Suzy lying down that is a direct copy of the painting scene in the 1997 Titantic, except for their ages and their underwear.
Also, everyone–including the adults–acts deadly serious, which must have been the director’s choice for comic effect, but it just comes across as stupid.
And just when you think it couldn’t get any weirder, it does.
Moonrise Kingdom is just a piece of weird, stupid crap.
I’m Dan Culberson and this is “Hotshots.”
“Snow White and the Huntsman” an Expensive Piece of Nothing
Jun 9th
“Expensive Piece of Nothing”
“Hotshots” looks at a movie!
Snow White and the Huntsman is the second movie about Snow White to come out in two months, and the title indicates that Hollywood is running out of variations on how to make each one different.
Instead, the filmmakers should be concerned about how to make each one better, because this one isn’t.
This time, the evil Queen is played by Charlize Theron, and she even gets a name, Ravenna.
The Huntsman is played by Chris Hemsworth, whom you will recognize as the actor playing Thor in some other action movies, but he doesn’t get a name, just a back story.
And the grownup Snow White is played by Kristen Stewart, whom you will recognize from a lot of other movies.
Once again, we see how it all began, and after Ravenna becomes the stepmother of young Snow White, Ravenna tells her, “I could never take your mother’s place.”
And once again, Snow White is placed in prison by the Queen, high up in the north tower of the castle.
My comment was “Boring!” even before the movie got one-third of the way through.
So, the variation this time is not that the Queen has the Huntsman take Snow White out into the woods to kill her, but Snow White escapes from the castle and the Queen has the Huntsman go into the woods to find Snow White and bring her back.
Now, Charlize Theron chews the scenery as Ravenna, the evil Queen, and that is not easy to do when the scenery is made out of stone walls.
By this time the movie has become a swords and sorcery story, and the woods contain all sorts of menacing things and even a monster.
Finally! About two-thirds of the way through, the dwarfs show up, but right away you notice that there is something strange about them, and the camera doesn’t stay on all of them long enough for you to count them.
Sure enough, you were right, and later in the story an explanation solves the mystery.
Another weird thing about the dwarfs, however, is that you get the nagging feeling that when they are shown in closeup, you think that you recognize the actors playing them, but those actors aren’t actual little people.
Snow White and the Huntsman is an expensive piece of a nothing movie.
I’m Dan Culberson and this is “Hotshots.”
This Weekend in St. Augustine, Ponte Vedra, and The Beaches: June 8 – 10
Jun 6th
Friday: June 8
ZZ Top; Gretchen Wilson and 3 Doors Down Concert
Legendary rockers ZZ Top will be joined by 
3 Doors Down and Grammy award-winning country artist, Gretchen Wilson at the St. Augustine Amphitheatre, 1640 A1A in St. Augustine. Tickets range from $49.50 to $124.50. Concert begins at 6:30 p.m. .www.staugamphitheatre.com
Friday, Saturday & Sunday: June 8-10
My Big Fat Greek Food Festival
Presented by Holy Trinity Greek Orthodox Church, this festival will feature delicious Greek dinners such as lamb, souvlaki, gyros, Aegean chowder; Greek pastries and coffees; Greek wine tastings, music, kid’s activities and more. The festival takes place from 10 a.m. to 8 p.m. on Friday and Saturday, and from noon to 7 p.m. on Sunday. Admission is free. On Saturday, enjoy “An Evening of Comedy with Basile” at 8 p.m. in the Michael C. Carlos Fellowship Hall. Tickets are $45 for adults and $35 for students under 18. The Holy Trinity Greek Orthodox Church is located at 2940 CR 214, (West King Street just before the I-95 overpass) in St. Augustine. 904-829-0504www.holytrinitygoc.com .
Bingo, The Musical at Limelight Theatre
Musical comedy about Vern, Honey and Patsy who have driven through a terrible storm in the name of their weekly obsession. Thursday through Saturday at 7:30 p.m. and Sundays at 2 p.m. through July 1. All performances take place at the Limelight Theatre, 11 Old Mission Avenue in St. Augustine. Tickets are $25 for adults, $22 for seniors and $20 for students and military. For more information, call 904.825.1164 or visit www.limelight-theatre.org
Saturday: June 9
GTM Research Reserve 2nd Saturday Trail Hike
A GTM Research Reserve staff and/or volunteer led 1.5 mile walk that the entire family will enjoy. Meet at the Trailhead Pavilion at 8:30 a.m. Wear comfortable closed toe shoes. There is a $3 per vehicle parking fee. GTM Research Reserve Environmental Education Center, 505 Guana River Rd., Ponte Vedra Beach. 904-823-4500
National Parks Get Outdoors Day
Free admission to Castillo de San Marcos on Avenida Menendez, overlooking Matanzas Bay in historic St. Augustine. The Spanish fortress is the oldest masonry fortification in the U.S. Visitors can experience living history during Spanish Military cannon firings throughout the day. Admission is always free at Fort Matanzas, the 18th century Spanish fort that guarded the southern approach to St. Augustine, located south of St. Augustine at 8635 A1A. www.NPS.gov/casa and www.NPS.gov/FOMA
Saturday & Sunday: June 9-10
School’s Out Eco Tour!
Start the summer out right by getting the kids on the water and off the couch! Explore the productive waters of St. Augustine on the 1.5-hour boat tour and learn about dolphin behavior, beautiful wading birds and more. The 11am and 1pm departures get the kids moving and give you the chance to enjoy lunch downtown. Call (904) 377-7245 for reservations or visit www.staugustineecotours.com for more information.
C Ford Riley Exhibit
A new exhibit of original paintings by C Ford Riley will open this weekend at the Worley Faver Gallery, 11A Aviles Street, St. Augustine. Riley is well-known for his landscapes and wildlife paintings, many of which grace art galleries throughout the county. Gallery hours are 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. (by appointment Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday). 904-304-2310 or http://faverpottery.com
Sunday: June 10
Twilight Sail
Bring your weekend to a pleasant, relaxing conclusion with a twilight sail aboard the beautiful Schooner Freedom. The schooner will depart the St. Augustine City Marina at 8:45 p.m. and return at 10 p.m. This sailing adventure Includes complimentary drinks and live guitar music performed by Alex Barron. Tickets are $35 per person. Make your reservation by calling 904-810-1010.www.schoonerfreedom.com
Source: Visitors and Convention Bureau
