Posts tagged waste
“Beginners” Gimmickers
Jul 7th
“Gimmickers”
“Hotshots” looks at a movie!
BEGINNERS is one of those movies whose trailer is intriguing and makes you want to see it, but then after you have seen it, you wish you hadn’t and conclude that it was a waste of time and money.
The reason isn’t just that the trailer gives away the whole story, even though it does, but the story still looks interesting, and it is based on the life of the writer and director, Mike Mills.
No, the reason is that the story is made gimmicky by the way it is told, the chronology is chopped up arbitrarily, and I lost interest in it about halfway through with all the back and forth and further back and further forth.
The story is about a man named Oliver Fields, who is played by Ewan McGregor. We see him cleaning out his father’s house after his father has died, and he says to a dog there, “Arthur, you’re coming with me now.”
The dog is a Jack Russell terrier, and we see subtitles that represent the cute thoughts of Arthur if he could talk and if he could understand what Oliver is saying to him.
We also see what are supposed to be clever graphic images from old advertisements as Oliver comments in voice-over narration about such topics as love, happiness, and homosexuality in society.
You see, Oliver’s father, who is named Hal and played by Christopher Plummer, announced six months after his wife and Oliver’s mother died that he was gay. And then four years after that, Hal died at 75 from cancer.
As if that weren’t enough turmoil in Oliver’s life, he meets a woman named Anna at a costume party, who is played by Melanie Laurent.
So, now we see scenes of the developing relationship between Oliver and Anna, flashbacks to scenes between Oliver and Hal, and even further-back flashbacks to scenes of Oliver as a young boy with his mother.
Some parallelisms are shown between scenes in the present and scenes in the past, but you might find yourself asking as I did, “What’s the story?”
Then, more like “What’s the point?”
In other words, what we have is a very simple story made intentionally and unnecessarily complicated with gimmicky visual comments.
BEGINNERS should have been called GIMMICKERS and it would have been more true to form.
I’m Dan Culberson and this is “Hotshots.”
“Your Highness” Your Lowbrowness
Apr 18th
(“Your Lowbrowness”)
“Hotshots” looks at a movie!
Your Highness looks like a stoner comedy, walks like a stoner comedy, and quacks like a stoner comedy, but the only way that audiences would laugh while watching this mess of a movie would be if they actually were on drugs.
Sure, James Franco is listed in the credits, but I am more inclined to believe that it is his evil twin, Frank Jameso, who is in this failure of a film. You know, the one who hosted the Academy Awards in 2011.
In fact, Franco doesn’t even get top billing in the credits. That dishonor goes to Danny McBride, who also wrote the movie and not so coincidentally gave himself the bigger role.
And rounding out this trio of turpitude is Natalie Portman, whose two distinguishing characteristics in this film are reminders of what she lost in order to make her next film, the excellent 2010 Black Swan.
But I procrastinate.
The story begins with a mildly amusing sight gag of a hanging that fails to succeed because the hangers are little people and they forgot to adjust the gallows for the height of the normal-sized hangee.
He is Prince Thadeous of the Kingdom of Mourn, played by McBride, younger and less accomplished brother of Prince Fabious, played by Franco–I mean, by the evil twin Jameso.
In fact, Thadeous is so weak that when he eventually expresses his overpowering obsession, it comes out only as the tepid, “It would be nice to be king.”
The main plot is that Belladonna, the bride-to-be of Prince Fabious and who is played by Zooey Deschanel, is captured by an evil wizard, and so Prince Fabious goes on another quest to rescue her, this time taking his stumbling, bumbling brother, Prince Thadeous, along with him, which is the second prince’s first quest.
Along the way they encounter Isabel, played by Portman, who is on her own quest. And so they join forces.
In other words, this is a sword and sorcery spoof.
However, mostly it is a waste of time that is lowbrow, knuckle dragging, tasteless, overblown, too over the top and too gross. No, make that three over the top and three gross and therefore four tedious and five unfunny.
Your Highness could even be called “Your Lowbrowness,” but then that would give it more credit than it deserves.
I’m Dan Culberson and this is “Hotshots.”
“Hall Pass” Mixed Messages
Mar 21st
“Mixed Messages”
HALL PASS is the latest attempt at humor from the Farrelly brothers, Peter and Bobby, who previously were responsible for the 1994 DUMB & DUMBER, the 1998 THERE’S SOMETHING ABOUT MARY, the 2000 ME, MYSELF & IRENE, and the 2001 SHALLOW HAL, to name a few . . . too many.
So, to send you a mixed message, don’t waste any time seeing this movie.
However, if you are forced to see it now or accidentally see it later, be prepared for a load of crap, to be crude, and literal, and not funny.
Also be prepared for the movie to take way too long to get started, just as this review is taking.
It stars Owen Wilson as Rick and Jason Sudeikis as his best friend, Fred. Respectively, they are married to Jenna Fischer as Maggie and Christina Applegate as Grace.
Like all men, Rick and Fred take long looks at beautiful women whenever they can, and like all wives, Maggie and Grace take personal offense when their husbands do.
So, on the advice of a friend, Maggie decides to give Rick a chance to get his wanderlust out of his system. She says to him, “I’m giving you a hall pass. One week off from marriage.”
Grace does the same with Fred, and together Maggie and Grace take the kids and travel to Cape Cod to spend a week with Maggie’s father, leaving Rick and Fred in Providence, Rhode Island, to do whatever they want for a week with no wives around.
Then we get a day-by-day account of the expected horndog hilarity, which we know is going to end with a message, right? The movie also cuts back and forth from Providence to Cape Cod as we watch the wives encounter some unexpected situations, as well.
On Day 6 Richard Jenkins shows up in Providence as Coakley, a mentor and hero for Rick and Fred, and he shows them what he does that makes him succeed with women, especially by throwing a big party at his house with a lot of women and a lot of opportunities for Rick and Fred.
Well, I won’t spoil the movie for you by telling you what you can already guess, but I do suggest that you stay until after the credits.
HALL PASS contains mixed messages, some funny and others not at all.
I’m Dan Culberson and this is “Hotshots.”